Let’s talk about work. It’s something we all have to do (well, almost all of us, aside from those lucky few). It is often the activity that we do more than any other activity in our day. More than spending time with our families, children, friends, more than eating, more than any hobby that we have. And even more than sleeping. Yes, partner at my firm who shall not be named but who looked at me like I was insane when I said this: I spend far more time each day in my office than I do getting the much needed sleep that will keep my brain functioning through that next turn of the merger agreement. I often spend more hours in any given 24-hour period in my office than I do at all other places in the world outside of that building combined.
Our work/job/career (the name that you give it probably depends how you feel about it) is not only the activity that takes up the biggest part of our day, but it also often takes up the biggest part of our self identity. Our job sometimes [most times?] defines who we are and a huge portion of our self satisfaction, happiness and confidence comes from “what we do for a living.” Within 10 minutes of meeting someone new, no matter who it is that you are meeting or in what context you have met them, they will almost always ask: so, what do you do? We’ve all been there. We all do it. I am guilty of this just as much as anyone else. And so with such a big chunk of ourselves wrapped up in our careers, why is it that so many people are not happy or satisfied with their work? Is it that they like their job function, but don’t like the particular company or organization that they work for? Or perhaps it is their co-workers, managers or bosses that they don’t like? Or is it that so many people are simply working for the weekend? Picking up that paycheck so that they can really live the lives that they love in the book ends of each work week?
The answer to that question, of course, will differ for everyone. And certainly not everyone is unhappy with his or her job. But in my circle of friends and in my professional circle, most people would and do report not being fully happy with or fulfilled by their work.
Another relevant question: is this reliance on work as the biggest part of our self identity and satisfaction unique to the United States? Or perhaps unique to ‘Western’ societies? Good question. Ryan and I traveled to Patagonia earlier this year for a couple weeks of fly fishing, hiking and glacier-watching, and the start of our trip was a four day fly fishing and camping trip down one of the beautiful rivers near Bariloche, Argentina. It was four glorious days of fly fishing while we floated down the river on a raft, just Ryan, me and our guide Peter. Peter is Argentinian and has been a fly fishing guide for many years. Peter spent four full days in a boat with only Ryan and me for company and conversation, and not once did Peter ask either Ryan or me what we do for a living. Not once. I was shocked. Clearly I took notice of this, and then it became a game to see if he was actually going to spend a full 96 hours with us without asking about our jobs. And he never did. Peter won that game I guess. We talked about fishing, about Argentina, Patagonia, the history of the places we were seeing, and probably about 100 other topics I’m sure, but never did the subject come up of what Ryan and I devote most of our days, energy, and personal capital to – our jobs. And I thought this is so strange, and I love it.
Fly fishing with Peter
What if we spent less time worrying about that promotion at work, climbing the ladder, collecting gold stars, running faster and faster and grinding ourselves more and more and instead spent more time focusing inward on what it is that makes us happy? What kind of strengths and skills do we have that we can use to create something or do something meaningful and useful, while still earning enough to care for our families, fulfill our responsibilities and live the lives that we want to live? Why not slow down and take some time to assess what kind of legacy we want to leave behind? What do I want to be remembered for when I am long gone? Live with intention, make knowing and deliberate decisions about our lives and assess from time to time where we are and whether that is where we want to be. It is so much easier said than done, and I am the first person to admit that I never do this.
If you didn’t have to earn money to pay for your lifestyle, if you just had enough to sustain you (and I feel quite strongly that we have all been led to believe that the amount of money that we need to sustain us is far more than what we really truly need), what would you do with your days? What kind of activities would you fill each 24 hours with?
It’s not an easy thing to think about, who has the luxury to sit around and day dream about the way we wish things were? These questions can sound indulgent at times, but I think that they are important and necessary for each and every one of us. Spending our days employed in meaningful, fulfilling work will lead to more happiness, and when happier, we do a better job of living. A better job of being a wife, brother, mother, friend, husband, caregiver, and also a better worker – no matter what your career consists of, it’s pretty clear that people who are happy do their work better. There are numerous studies to assert that happy people are more efficient in their jobs, and being efficient in your job will lead to success in the workplace, which will lead to more happiness and hence the upward spiral continues. But it’s got to start with finding a career that makes you happy and fulfilled.
I’ve started on a journey to figure this out. It may well take my entire life, and perhaps that’s the point – that you’ll never truly figure it out – but I plan to take more time to think things through, to be intentional about the kind of work that I’m taking on in my career, to slow things down and step off of that treadmill and try to figure out if I’m doing what I’m doing in order to make myself happy, or in order to collect another gold star to add to my collection. What will you do to figure this out? Or have you figured it out already, and make up that rare percentage of people who are truly fulfilled by their work?
BY Jackie
LOCATION San Francisco, California
